Why It’s Not Useful to Name Somebody—Together with Ourselves—“Lazy”

In speaking to individuals about happiness and good habits, individuals typically discuss “laziness.” Both they are saying, “I’m lazy” or they are saying, “That individual is being lazy.”

However I believe it’s unhelpful to consider “laziness.”

It appears to me that when individuals (together with ourselves) seem lazy, there are extra useful explanations. In my remark, different issues could also be occurring:

Avoidance: There’s one thing that an individual ought to do, however they’re avoiding it. This individual ought to work, however is avoiding doing powerful evaluation, so is spending hours watching Sport of Thrones clips on YouTube. That individual ought to go to remedy, however doesn’t wish to face detrimental emotions, so retains canceling appointments.

Accountability: In my “4 Tendencies” persona framework, Obligers are individuals who want outer accountability to fulfill interior expectations. In the event that they wish to train, they want to enroll in a category, work out with a coach, elevate cash for a charity, be a task mannequin for another person, and so forth. (Efficient accountability methods fluctuate amongst Obligers.) If Obligers lack outer accountability, they gained’t comply with by means of. This may appear like laziness, however as quickly as accountability is established, Obligers do comply with by means of.

(Need to know in the event you’re an Obliger? Or a Questioner, Insurgent, or Upholder? Take the free brief quiz right here.)

Exhaustion: Typically individuals get drained and overwhelmed, they usually merely can’t muster up the vitality to do something—not even one thing small, not even one thing enjoyable. So they simply do no matter exercise that feels least taxing to them—for example, scroll by means of social media, watch TV, or play a video-game.

Choice: One individual’s laziness is one other individual’s selection. A good friend mentioned of his son, “He’s so lazy. He may very well be out enjoying basketball along with his pals, however as an alternative, he lies on the couch, simply studying.” I additionally think about one other dad or mum saying of a kid, “He’s so lazy. He may very well be studying and enhancing his thoughts, and as an alternative, he’s simply operating round along with his pals.”

As all the time, once we face a happiness stumbling block, it’s helpful to determine the issue. For those who’re calling your self “lazy,” what’s occurring?

Do you have to discover a technique to get began, to get accountability, or to get extra relaxation? Or is that “laziness” really an indication that two individuals have totally different values?

For those who’ve referred to as your self lazy, or end up saying that different individuals are being lazy, I’d be curious to know the context.